aint no fun (if the homies can't have none)
posted by max on November 27, 2008 at 04:29:16 PM
happy turkey day my fellow colleagues,
I just wanted to let you all try out the new player. You can turn on the beta test in your user options or alternatively just view it at any site by visiting site.ytmnd.com/flash.html, new sites most likely won't work, but anything made before the time of this post should. Post your feedback/errors/etc inside.
I will update with some more info later when I come down off this massive tryptophan high.
I just wanted to let you all try out the new player. You can turn on the beta test in your user options or alternatively just view it at any site by visiting site.ytmnd.com/flash.html, new sites most likely won't work, but anything made before the time of this post should. Post your feedback/errors/etc inside.
I will update with some more info later when I come down off this massive tryptophan high.
Add a comment
New feature idea, stop new users from registering openly. Make them submit a site that is reviewed by a team of users who will decide who is worthy. Delete sh*tty users/downvoters/upvoters/alts. More mods. Give mods the power to ban for stolen content even if it is cited. Basically purge YTMND down to the 20 or so good users and only let constructive potential members join. Gated communities are a benchmark of progress.
It was during my 2nd senior year when Mom found Jesus Christ. His
spirit was trapped inside an old manischevitz bottle that Mom picked
out of the dumpster behind the 7-11. Mom brought the bottle inside and
sat it down on top of the TV. Then she told all of us kids to gather
round, and then she explained how Jesus lived in the bottle, and how,
if she wanted to, she could call him out to do her bidding. Sis said it
reminded her of an old TV show, and Mom slapped her and called her a
heretic. I didn't say anything, cause I just still remember the time
outside the Safeway, when it took 4 security guards to hold Mom down.
It wasn't long before people from all over the world started coming to
our house to see the bottle. At first I thought that this would make me
more popular at school. Instead it seemed to have the opposite result.
Kids would stop and point at me in the hallway and say, "There's the boy
whose mother keeps our savior cooped up in that tiny little bottle." And
then everybody started calling me 'Bottle boy'. And that really hurt. It
was also around this time that Mom began to attract some really weird
followers. Like that guy who never used deodorant and spoke only in
riddles. And that woman who collected 19th century hand made Amish
swimwear.
As the year went on, things went from bad to worse, and I realized that
if there wasn't a big change pretty soon, I'd never be able to get a
date for the prom. I couldn't go the year before because Mom belonged
to a church that considered dancing a one way ticket to Hell. But
that's a whole nother story. Anyway, by this point Mom had appeared on
the Richard Bey Show, A.M. Philadelphia and Geraldo, so there was
no use in me changing schools, since everybody knew who my Mom was.
Also we had to spend all the money from Mom's personal appearances to
hire a bodyguard, since by this point we were getting about 400 death
threats a day.
Then one night, I just couldn't stand it any more. While everyone else
was sleeping I crept downstairs. Slowly I went up to the bottle and
began to unfasten the lid. At first, nothing happened. But then the room
filled with a thick white smoke. I was glad my sister had taken the
batteries out of the smoke detector to put into her Walkman. When the
smoke cleared, I found myself face to face with the son of God, who was
much shorter than I had expected. He told me that since I'd freed Him,
He'd grant me one wish. And that's how I got to go to the prom with
Geena Davis. But you probably already read about that in People.
I have had no luck with dogs. I would have to say the only dog I ever owned that I had any enjoyment out of was my first dog. It's also the only dog I ever abused. I'll tell you one thing, Ex-Lax sure works great on a dog. (It was my friends idea...) A few years back, someone my wife knew was giving away a dog. We went to this person's home to meet the dog. It was a lovely dog named Rez. The woman stated that it was fully trained and loved to be outside.
We brought the dog home. It was a lovely, cute, adorable floppy eared three year old mutt. I worked the midnight shift that night. The dog stayed in the house throughout the night in the living room. I came home from work in the morning and walked into the living room. The dog had sh*t, oops, I mean doo-doo'd. Major doo doo. I don't think this dog laid down all night. There were droppings on top of droppings. This dog was excellent at sh*tting. I looked at the dog in disgust, the dog looked at me and smirked. "This is what man's best friend does to him?" I mumbled.
After I cleaned up the mess, I took the cute, adorable, floppy eared dog out to his backyard leash. Forced myself to give him a pat on the head. "Enjoy your day, Rez". I went back in the house and flopped on the bed in exhaustion. I quickly fell asleep. Then I heard a noise. It was the dog. The dog was barking, constantly. The dog that loved the great outdoors. I went to see the dog from hell. I looked at the dog in disgust and the dog gave me a smirk back. At that precise moment I wish I had a gun collection. I let the cute, adorable floppy eared dog back in the house. I finally fell asleep. I heard the odd noise or two but managed to sleep for a few hours. When I arose, I had a sense of deja-vu.
Suddenly there was a certain odor in the air and it wasn't perfume... I stepped out into the living room and there was doo-doo all over the living room floor. I stared at the dog in disgust. Damn dog gave me a smirk back. Out of the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of something I could not believe. It was my television remote control. My beloved remote control. The heart and soul of my whole reason for living. The remote control was on the floor. It had been chewed (probably in-between doo-doo's) It had been chewed so badly that the tubes inside were now on the outside. I never thought I would get to see the inner workings of my remote control. Amazingly, it still worked. (I always thought it was a quality product. To doo-doo all over the house is one thing but to destroy a man's remote control is another.
I also noticed my wife's underwear from the laundry on the floor. The crotch had been eaten completely out. I knew I didn't do it. There was also something else he had chewed on that I won't mention. Let's just say this dog must have been part bloodhound... The only thing the dog never chewed on were my underwear. Even with his cast iron stomach the dog must have known his limits.
It would be very embarrassing having this dog around the house when company was over. This was one horny dog. This dog would hump the hall rug until he was satisfied. He would hump my friend's leg. He would hump the cat. That was the first time I ever heard a cat say "yeow!" instead of "meow!".
We finally gave the cute, adorable floppy eared dog back to his owner after only three days of torment. As they pulled out of the driveway with him, I could see that damn dog gazing out the back window. I gave him the finger. He looked at me in disgust and I just smirked.
I will be there, along with Haylie, Rubycalaber of Internet Fame, and my Attractive male friend from Yale. Also I want to point out.. , do yourself a favor and visit #?! on EFnet. It's time we take back YTMND, literally overthrowing the Jewish dominated website run by Max (ZOG) Goldberg (Zionist, payot) 666 in NYC.
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I am running Firefox on a Mac and have been experiencing an issue. Whenever I navigate to a page with animated gifs on YTMND it loads really slow irregardless of whether or not it has a preloader. I'm not sure if this is an issue on my end or caused by yours but it seemed worthwhile to give you a heads up. Thanks.
Firefox 2.0.0.18, Flash 10.0 d20, Gentoo Linux 64bit. http://yesyouare.ytmnd.com/ http://coughagain.ytmnd.com/ http://checkthemap.ytmnd.com/ http://third-act.ytmnd.com/ http://daftarbys.ytmnd.com/ http://daftmilton.ytmnd.com/ all do not animate (stuck on first frame). Some sites do however. I just noticed d21 is out; I'll try it.