grandma's nightmare
Created on: November 8th, 2008
my grandmother actually believes that it'll be legal for black people to steal her purse and that terrorists are going to roam around her gated community
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HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. TODAY I WOULD LIKE TO EXPRESS MY DEEP AND PASSIONATE HATRED TOWARD ALL OF THE VIEWING PARTY, AND YOUR MOTHERS. WHILE PERUSING THE VAST VARIETY OF INTRICATE PORNOGRAPHIC WEBSITES OFFERED BY YOUR MOTHER I STUMBLED ACROSS YOUR QUITE HORRID SITE. ALL OF YOU WOULD BE BEST DESCRIBED AS FAILED ABORTIONS AFTER I DESTROYED YOUR MOTHERS VAGINAL VALLEYS WITH MY MONSTROUS MEAT MONSTER WHOM SPEND EVERY SECOND OF YOUR DAYS VIEWING PORNO. TO BE QUITE FORWARD, NONE OF YOU HAVE TASTED THE GLORIOUS GLOWING JUICES OF YOUR MOTHERS VELVET UNDERGROUND AS I HAVE. ALTHOUGH I QUITE ENJOY POUNDING FURIOUSLY ON THE PELVIC FIELDS OF YOUR MOTHERS, THIS SITE IS QUITE SUCCESSFUL IN TAKING PERVERSION TO THE NEXT LEVEL. ACTIONS OF THIS NATURE COULD BE COMPARED IN A QUITE WORSE MANNER TO JERKING OFF TO PICTURES OF SUITS IN MY MOST SUCCESSFUL MEN'S WAREHOUSE. ALTHOUGH YOU MUST BE JEALOUS OF THE EVENTS THAT ARE IMMINENT TO FOLLOW THIS THREAD, IN WHICH I WILL RAVAGE YOUR MOTHER'S BOD
okay, so now that im on your side russman, i guess the first order of business should be what to do about all the AIDS obama and liberals are literally going to ram into our *ssh*les. I'm not really sure how they're going to go about it... you see until about 5 minutes ago i was a dirty liberal, and unfortunately i hadn't received my orders yet about how and when we were going to administer the AIDS in the *ssh*les of America. I'll keep investigating and report back!
okay, so i just called a few of my old 'liberal' friends. I didnt tell them about my conversion yet. I asked if any of them had heard anything about a *wink wink* plans to ram AIDS in people's *ssh*les *wink wink*. they all acted like they had never heard of such a thing.. so i think they might be on to me. This is bigger than i thought. once again, ill keep investigating.
so i just got off the phone with my local Public Health office. i asked if they had been officially been warned to look out for any upcoming epidemics. (i didnt mention aids and *ssh*les this time, because i have no idea how far this goes.) they said they hadnt heard anything but did mention staph infections have been on rise due to them becoming immune to antibiotics. I asked "could be part of a devious plan?", she said "no, it just happens naturally because people are using to much antibiotics." ..Fishy.
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