Tubular Nets
Created on: November 29th, 2007
George Bizzle and his crew breaks down the intertubes game.
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Okay, so if I would be giving no vote, but then keaton downvotes to balance out, but then Octo upvotes by 1 to make it even, but then keaton re-downvotes even more, and there are 1445 votes already . . . let's see, carry the one . . . I have to multiply my original vote by Avogadro's number and then subtract Jude Law's phallic girth (in nanometers). Someone check my math?
You are only seeing the forest for the trees, my friend. Do not take these words of wisdom at face value; this is much more than just a fad. We've all had a laugh from these lines before, but now is the time to stop and think about what they really mean. Why was Steven's staff trying to send him an internet? The WHOLE internet? Could there be more than one internet? Perhaps the government has their own secret network of internets. Did Al Gore invent all of them, or just our own personal internets?
When President Bush said "I hear there's rumors on the internets." perhaps it was more than just another linguistic error, but a momentary lapse of judgment in which he revealed a classified government secret. No wonder Ted's tubes keep getting clogged up! They're trying to send him enormous amounts of material. Indeed, that is not something that can be simply dumped on a truck.
The government is keeping this all very hush hush, and nobody is quite sure what to make of it all. But there is one thing we can be certain of: The tubes are massive. From South Carolina, to Oklahoma, to Arizona, to North Dakota, to Michigan and Texas, they form an intricate network beyond our comprehension. It stands to reason that such a large infrastructure would be needed to store all of our pornography, spyware, viruses, and the keys that we punch.
I have my own theory. Years ago a brilliant film called Hackers forsaw the future. In it, the antagonists likened hackers to terrorists. The government must have recognized this danger and decided to keep the tubes underground. Think about it. What is the terrorists' most effective weapon? IED roadside bombs!!! That is why they decided years ago that the internets would not be a big truck, on which explosives could be dumped on.
I hope you can now appreciate the magnitude of this situation. I did not create this site only to provide entertainment, but also to raise awareness of a government conspiracy. There is something about the internets that they aren't telling us, and it is our duty as patriotic Americans to get to the bottom of it. We all know that there's rumors on the internets. Won't you join my search to find the truths on the tubes?
don't need no trucks or tubes cause im Double U, we'll take the white house cause i stay YEEEEEARGH! we on the internet, porn and ebay where all our moneys spent but thats ok, cause i stay YEEEEEARGH! at $3.20 for gas, its a kick in the ass, but thats ok, cause we're in Iraq! doin e'erything with my daddies name, i'm still president da dada dada da
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