Awesome Milk *now with YTMND comments*
Created on: July 20th, 2006
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/customer-reviews/B00032G1S0/ref=cm_cr_dp_2_1/103-8098102-5351821?ie=UTF8&customer-reviews.sort%5Fby=-SubmissionDate&n=3370831
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Thanks Neal!
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hehe I took part in the festivities! It'll probably be taken down, so here it is:
"Tuscan Whole Milk does not come from a truck. It comes from a series of tubes from the the mammal ut utters.
And what heppens to you you, own personal milk? I just the the other day whole milk was sent from my staff at 10 oclock on friday and I got it yesterday. WHY? Because it got tangled up with all these things that going on shopping market commercially! - Ted Stevens, Washington, DC"
Mine: I was expecting this milk to be a normal gallon of milk. I was too lazy to get up off of my chair and drive down to the store, so I just ordered this "Tuscan" stuff off of the internets. The package was delivered in a couple days, and to my surprise, it wasn't milk at all! It was cottage cheese! But let me tell you, this cottage cheese is special. It gave me the ability to squirt diarrhea out of my anus for 2 weeks straight. I lost 25 pounds! I now fit into my high school wardrobe!
mine: At first taste, this milk may seem to many to be the most heveanly beverage around, but don't be fooled. At great risk to my own personal health, I am here to warn you about the dark secret of this milk. Do not be fooled, fair citizens, this is not milk at all. This milk IS PEOPLE. that's right, it's all the peace protesters that Bush wrangled up, and liquified. "Why, then," you ask, "is it white? I'd imagine that ground human would be red or pinkish." well the answer to your question is: Bleach. That
mine's probably gonna be deleted but here it is: "Savant got me some of this milk off what she calls "the internet" and it's absolutely spiffing, old bean. Tasted like fresh sperm from my absolutely spiffing dick, then chilled with magic. Reccomended this to all the Temple Knights, and they just called me sick, but I say it's absolutely spiffing. I would sit on that park bench all day and drink this if my armor didn't have cum stains on it. Oh well.
Sincierly,
Sir Tiffy Cashien
Head of the Temple Knigh
Here's my stupid post I put up there.
WANTED: Somebody to buy milk on the internets with me. This is not a joke. P.O. Box 98663, Oakview, CA 93002. You'll get paid after we drink it. Must bring your own weapons and be able to crawl through a series of tubes. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before.
And just as a stupid FYI, the PO Box is what YTMND turns out to be on a telephone pad.
From Neil J. Bauman (Eric's Daddy): I had heard about this milk before trying it myself. A big black guy leaving my swingers' party ran over my gay son's kitten in the driveway, but I was miraculously able to bring him back to life using the power of the milk. Hallelujah and praise Xenu! Sure, his legs are broken and he's missing an eyeball, but my little Eric loves him all the same.
I had just ordered this milk, and was waiting anxiously for it to arrive. All of a sudden, my house spontaneously burst into flames! We couldn't escape the fiery inferno, and believed that we were going to be left to die inside our house.
All of a sudden, the delivery guy came and tossed the milk through the window. My brain hatched a brilliant plan! I took off the cap, and poured it all over myself and my family. The milk acted as a protective shield, and protected us from the flames.
There's nothing I enjoy more than after a long bike ride through the Alps with my wives to drink about 5 gallons of this. It also works great as paint thinner, shampoo, and lubrication for your daily community orgies. I strongly reccomend it to athletes and husbands alike.
Also, if you ingest this while eating lingonberries, you will start to hallucinate. I found out that I'll die in a depressurization accident on Sweden's first moon colony. Thanks, Tuscan Milk! No more space travel for me! ;-)
Oh holy sh*t. Guys, follow the link in the description. I had to take a break in laughing because it was cutting off the oxygen to my brain. sh*t, the bloods coming back. I can feel the pressure in my nostrils. I think I almost died. Really. I actually had trouble typing all this because I was so inbrieted. (The word is spelt wrong. Sorry.)
I couldn't resist:
It was an ordinary morning like any other, I had just finished wrestling a Silverback Gorilla in a tub of balsamic vinegar. His name was Popo, he was strong, yet, not strong enough, for months of proper excercise had made my physical prowess comparable to that of He-man or The Juggernaught. Nursing his now swollen black eye with a bag of ice he turned to me, squinting his one open eye and said "How is such a humiliating defeat possible?" Laughing, I revealed my secret weapon: Tuscan Wh
WARNING! Submittion is scary!One day, I was sitting in the kitchen, wondering what I should eat. Then I heard a voice coming out of my 'frig saying "You want to eat me! I make all your dreams come true!". Curious, I walked over and Stan pops out trying to sell things like Allen wrenches, copperwire , and toilet seats! I was so scared I slammed the frig shut and yelled "Salesman!". I then took the frig and threw it off the nearest bridge. If you like to get attacked by salesmen name Stan, go ahead and buy it
Left One: Me and my good pal Cthulu were going for our twilight walk, like we do and every thursday, when out of no where this rabid poisonous squirrel latched onto his face and bit him! My dear friend was in dire trouble! I took him to my neighbor, who just happened to a OBGYN, and he prescribed Tuscan Whole Milk! After a week of waiting on shipment and my best friend suffering from Chlamydia and leprosy, and small injection of this holy moo juice into the rectal cavity cure him instantly!! He's even....
Well, after the milk was extracted from cows near a chemical waste plant, stored in a vat once used to process nitroglycerine, aged for about 3 months, flown over several continents and air droped into my pool, it did not taste very good. I later realized the milk had chemically altered my tounge and effectivly making me tasteless (which in turn helps me down vegetables and my own feces easily). Although, after feeding it to my neighbors cat, I find that it can also induce a coma. Now more curious then ever
, I poured some in my desiel gas tank and amazingly I drove an extra 200 miles on it before my engine melted! After becoming horribly obsessed with power I mixed it with sawdust to make a C4 like explosive except around 400 times more powerful. A hair from my groin accidentily fell into the new product and incinerated my entire neighborhood. Luckily the milk I had drank protected my body from the heat. Ill be ordering more soon!
Countless studies from Scientists have proven that Tuscan Milk is the modern day Fountain of Youth!
"lol, I drank some Tuscan milk I bought online and I totally got younger lmao. My friends were like, "wtf! hax!!" it was so funny I pee'd myself, wtf, lmao haha."
- Dr. Brian Pepperson P.H.D.
128 fl oz of pure concentrated youth! BUY THIS NOW!
i'm sorry to bother you but it is impossible to find this awesome song. the only thing i find more awesome than tuscan milk is this song. God knows, when i play this song my uncle was miraculously cured of lung cancer. please tell me where i can get this song because i have searched to the ends of the earth for it. i'm serious can you send me the song or something or upload the whole song.
i would greatly appreciate this thx in advance.
Thanks for making Tuscan Whole Milk a household word! I ordered some to use at my espresso stand so I can charge people $1.50 more for their silly lattes. When it arrives I'm actually gonna drink it myself so I can have super powers and gastrointestinal adventures. So what, you may ask, am I going to be pouring out of the Tuscan bottle into my customers' lattes and other coffee based pussy drinks? Rat milk purchased from Big Tony over in Newark. You betcha.
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