"Cease and Desist" from Neil Bauman

I received this email from Neil Bauman (Eric Bauman's father and "Executive Vice President of Ebaum's World Inc.) earlier today, followed shortly after by a second email with only "Please feel free to post this if you have the gonads.".

I strongly suggest you read more to see the most magical email thread I have ever been involved in.

From: "Neil Bauman"
<neil@ebaumsworld.com>
To: <legal@ytmnd.com>
Subject: Cease and Desist
Date: Tue, 10 Jan 2006 16:01:53 -0500

To Whom It May Concern:


Please be advised that several of your forum soldiers have decided to personally visit our corporate offices. The pictures they took while trespassing on our property were proudly posted on your site. In addition some of the postings on your forum literally threatened murdering Eric Bauman. You have now officially crossed the line. You can consider this formal notification that we have initiated a criminal complaint with several agencies including the FBI Cyber Terrorism Unit. I realize that most of your entire website is comprised of pathetic, pimply-faced maladjusted pre-teens whose parents don't love them, and their best Saturday night date takes AA batteries. Be that as it may, you have now become a criminal threat. There a lot of people now monitoring your site. I strongly suggest that there are no more unauthorized "visits" to our office. There will be severe penalties for failure to heed this warning. The forum banter on your site means nothing to us or anyone in the world for that matter, but your threats of bodily harm and property damage cannot be ignored. I was afraid that the FBI and police departments would not be responsive. I was pleasantly surprised to find the contrary.

Interestingly, no individual or corporate entity has approached us with any question or problem regarding the content in question. This is true lunacy! There is this big dispute over a piece of content that we received a signed release for. Do you have any idea how foolish and immature you look through this? Of course I am referring to the real three dimensional world where real people live and work. You and your forum obviously live in very dark places where they don't teach spelling, grammar, logic, reasoning�etc. Well, that being said, we don't care how you advertise your stupidity, but eBaum's World Inc lives in the real world, and we are very tolerant and sensitive to the underprivileged and the mentally challenged. We will however use any and all legal remedies to ensure our safety. The police and FBI are taking this very seriously. I will leave you with this challenge, if any member of your forum or anyone any where wants to challenge our policy, simply come out from under your rock and call me on the phone, or schedule an appointment. I would be happy to discuss any problem with any credible individual. Of course I am assuming that these "kids" are capable of meaningful dialogue. We have received hundreds of calls, but alas, zero meaningful dialogue, only weak pranks. Judging from the posts I have read from your site I am confident that no one possesses the aforementioned skills necessary to pull that off. The first guy you sent in here probably soiled his pants when he couldn't answer the simplest question and literally ran out the door�LOL. I don't think he is a candidate for Mission Impossible. The police have already contacted him and our lawyers will have fun with Ben and his parents. The invitation stands. BTW, the FBI told me that the operators and facilitators of your site are more liable than they think; they also assured me that nobody from your site would come out from under their rock to talk. They likened your forum to terrorists who always stay under ground. Is that the way you envisioned your forum at its inception? How pathetic. I look forward to your reply.


Neil J. Bauman


Executive Vice President
eBaum's World Inc.
neil@ebaumsworld.com
Office:585-292-0069
Fax: 585-292-0722

=====

Upon receiving this I could hardly believe it was real, as it would be somewhat surprising to see an "Executive" of a company act in such a way. I immediately called the office of eBaum's World Inc. and left a voice mail for Neil. This is the letter I received some time later.

From: "Neil Bauman" <neil@ebaumsworld.com>
To: <support@ytmnd.com>
Cc: "'Eric Bauman'" <ebaum@ebaumsworld.com>, "'Jason Martorana'" <jason@ebaumsworld.com>, <wlevinson@culleymarks.com>
Subject: Phone Message

Dear Max,

My assistant informed me that you called our corporate office to verify the correspondence titled Cease and Desist was in fact sent by me.it was. I would like to have any kind of meaningful communication with you or anyone representing your site. As stated in my earlier note, we have never been formally contacted by anyone regarding the questioned content. I am easily accessible during normal business hours. Feel free to contact me if you are capable of exhibiting a nominal use of some professionalism. I have had a great deal of contact from several of your loyal followers. That contact was far from meaningful or professional. In a short time you will be held accountable for the deeds and threats that were aimed at our site and our people. Obviously you have lost possession of your Yiddish cup. We are not about to be physically threatened by you or anyone else. If you thought this was a joke, you are very misguided. I am not one to be trifled with. How dare you and your brethren make death threats against our personnel? There is no veiled threat here, just your wake up call. You had the ability to stop this early in the game and choose not to. That strategy will prove to be a serious mistake in judgment on your part. Soon you will be contacted by Federal Investigators. Have a great day.

Neil J. Bauman
Executive Vice President
eBaum's World Inc.
neil@ebaumsworld.com
Office: 585-292-0069
Fax: 585-292-0722


He even CC'd his lawyer. You would think a lawyer would tell his clients that isn't in their best interest to write such emails.

=====
And my response:



Dearest Neil,

I appreciate every email I get, but yours holds a special place in my heart!

If you had been paying attention, for the last three days I have been deleting hundreds of users, sites and posts with pieces of your personal information.

I'm done.

I don't think you understand the extent of this situation. People have been attacking me and my ISP just for making public statements NOT to attack you. You obviously overestimate my involvement, but I guess you have to be paranoid when you are so widely hated. These users who are attacking you are doing so on their own accord.

You may think that because you steal your content via "submissions" you hold no liability to the content you host. The fact is, I run my website as a hobby. I have a full time job so I can pay my rent, I can't pay moderators. I generally try not to be involved in sleazy practices, both in business and in my personal life. It amazes me with the history of your site and the massive amount of internet users that can barely spit your name out in disgust without following it with an expletive that you still don't get it.

I am not a part of this. I run a website where (some) people spend a lot of time and effort CREATING things to entertain others. You run a site where you TAKE and REBRAND things to host them without citing credit. How long do you think you can hide behind your "submission" technique?

I think we both know there is no possible way the majority of the content owners from which you steal can beat you on the civil level. This is due to the fact that you are a sleazy businessman that practices underhanded techniques and has a team of lawyers, while the people who are creating the "crazy" content you so masterfully profit off of have NOTHING. These people don't have lawyers, they probably earn very little if nothing off their works. Do you think if this Lohan issue went to court either side would win? No, we both know it would go nowhere, and this is why you still have it up. These kids don't want your money, they want the general respect any person should give. When someone spends the time to create something, regardless of their content sources, they just want to be cited. Fuck, is it really that much of a big deal?

Ebaumsworld Inc has a notorious reputation for being non-responsive and trying to make everything an uphill battle every step of the way. Last night I spent an hour on the phone with your hosting company, explaining the steps I was taking to try and prevent further damage from happening and explaining that I was willing to help out however I could. This morning I received a phone call from your office about a content issue on forums.ytmnd.com and how someone had posted your addresses. I explained that I had already deleted the posting earlier that morning. As a webmaster I can understand the major privacy invasion this entails and as I told your host, I want nothing to do with it.

Let this be an example of how angry the community (and not just on my website) is at your practices. I didn't put these kids up to these charades, they choose to do it on their own free will. I made public statements warning people of the legality of these issues and how it just isn't worth it to harass people in this way, and they still visited you. Do you really think so many users of my website would be so angry if someone from this community HADN'T spent the time to make that image? Do you seriously think these people are delusional enough to actually make this big of a deal over nothing?

I'm not sure of your legal background, but in my experience sending a letter degrading and demeaning the very community you steal and profit from isn't a valid way to send a legal notice, nor is using "LOL" in a sentence. This is not the way the "executive vice president" of a company acts. You sent a cease and desist but never explain what it is you want me to cease or desist doing?

I will help the FBI and local authorities out any way I can and I will provide them with any possible information they could need. I'm even willing to take a lie detector test, how about you? I have no quarrel with eBaumsworld. That being said, here is my challenge to you:

How about you stop hiding behind the money and privilege of a legal team paid for by PartyPoker popups and admit you and your employees are engaging in profiting from theft and purposefully going out of your way to make sure content creators don't get credited for their work? Who is the person that claims they made the work in question. If they signed a consent and release form why not make the information public?

I tried to be amiable. I tried to offer you my help in ending the entire thing and you did nothing but insult me, when I think it's obvious I have had nothing to do with this. I'm done with you. I will continue deleting things that break my terms of service, but beyond that, expect nothing. Here is my final offer: tomorrow at midnight I will delete anything with the term "eBaum". I offer to do this for you if you remove lohanfacial.html from your website.



Lovingly,

-Max

Sole proprietor, YTMND.COM




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<< 1 2 3 4 >>
January 12th, 2006
775th
(0)
Wonder if Bauman can fight the US constitution. Because last I checked people have the right to their own opinions and are free to express themselves how they wish so long as it is not slanderous. This however, is not slander. Something which is slanderous must be a definable true or false statement. If I had gone to the news paper and had them print "Bauman killed my Dad" THAT would be slander seeing as my father is alive. However I can say Bauman is, in my opinion, an idiot. and there is no legal action that can be taken against me. What should we do, practice another right! Protest at their "headquarters", so long as it's a peaceful protest we can do so with signs, chants and whatever creative ideas we have to express our free speech further.
January 12th, 2006
776th
(0)
last I checked people have the right to their own opinions and are free to express themselves how they wish so long as it is not slanderous
January 12th, 2006
777th
(0)
last I checked people have the right to their own opinions and are free to express themselves how they wish
January 12th, 2006
778th
(0)
We have free speech last I heard. We also have the right to protest outside their "headuarters"
January 12th, 2006
779th
(0)
ny 1 got photoshop pm me and lets all email this cock sucking basterd neil bauman
January 12th, 2006
780th
(0)
ok thanxs NO ONE
January 13th, 2006
781st
(0)
http://new.petitiononline.com/bauman
January 13th, 2006
782nd
(0)
(sorry about that I just noticed that the new comments are at the bottom. So I have several posts all meaning basically the same thing...
January 13th, 2006
783rd
(0)
God, I'm sorry Max you said no more baum, but I had to do it. http://retardedsitebyjimcramer.ytmnd.com/
January 13th, 2006
784th
(0)
A class action lawsuit would fill in that void in news coverage that happenes around this time of year. Anyway, has anyone compiled a list of the companies that purchase ad space from ebaumsworld.com? Even just the big names would be sufficient for a massive effort to bring there cash cow to an end. It's like writing your congressman, but getting something done for a change.
January 13th, 2006
785th
(0)
I agree attacking the site was wrong, to an extent, but it's no different than using mal code to bring up pages from www.somethingawful.com on their front page to kill SA's bandwidth. I am 100% behind the "shut down eBaums" cause, but doing anything illegal won't get us anywhere, and may even strengthen his position. In the end we've accomplished nothing, sadly, but we can have the pride in knowing that we've done what no one has been able to do in the course of history, and that is get something removed from eBaums by request. it's sad it took thousands of pissed off people for them to do it.
January 13th, 2006
787th
(0)
PWND
January 13th, 2006
788th
(0)
Good job, Max. =) We, the community of ytmnd.com, being of sound mind and a tremendous amount more wit than the Baums, declare undying alleigiance with Max Goldman and the army of the truuue!
January 13th, 2006
789th
(0)
applause
January 13th, 2006
790th
(0)
I hate eBaumsworld. Max sure did shut him up and for good I hope. You know, a website based on submissions doesn't have to be bad. It becomes bad when the web owner claims property of the material. For instance, albinoblacksheep is basically like ebaumsworld but nearly all the content gives rightful crediting to the original creator.
January 13th, 2006
791st
(0)
I think people are so mad at ebaumsworld not because they break the law, but because their business practices are in such bad taste. There's nothing illegal about saturating your site with crass advertising, nor is it a criminal offense to add a big-ass watermark that mentions that an image is hosted somewhere. Who owns what on the Internet is always a fuzzy legal issue at best. So, is a hateful gut reaction enough to warrant action against someone? Should we govern ourselves by intuition? In this case, I believe that the answer is yes.
January 14th, 2006
792nd
(0)
http://meaningful-dialogue.ytmnd.com/
January 14th, 2006
793rd
(0)
I know that this is pretty much older news now, but I just have to chip in and say what I think. I am not a lawyer, but there is NO WAY that this situation would not be laughed out of court. Max, you can control what is happening on your site, but it is very unlikely (if not impossible) that you can be legally held accountable for what others do outside of it. If someone robs a bank, can www.imdb.com be held accountable because the person was a member of their website? I think not. Moving on; it has already been mentioned that Bauman's emails were unprofessional and crude, but let me reiterate this. His comments completely unveil the utter conceit and ignorance he possesses and the belittling generalizations he makes in reference to the people he attacks. This says a lot about him. He obviously believes that since he has some money and a lawyer or 3 that he can try to threaten and scare the bejesus out of young adults who have better websites than his own with his so-thought "legal jargon," make...
January 14th, 2006
794th
(0)
...racial slurs, and completely get away with it, thinking that there will never be retaliation. False. He also thinks very lowly of the YTMND community, which I suppose is his right, but saying that we are all loser kids who never leave our computers is kind of a dangerous assumption to make. While I have no lawyers, I DO have my bachelors of science and -- surprise -- I DO leave my computer; I'd be up for debate with this anti-semetic a$$ anytime. Perhaps Bauman is completely miffed by the fact that the people who contribute to this website actually put time and effort into what they do, and a young man who manages this site as a hobby is LAPPING a man who tries to make his two-bit website into a company in popularity. Maybe he'd leave you alone, Max, if he had something to do, such as actually update his site and answer emails...or maybe take an English class, or 5. In conclusion, I think you're handling this very well, and try not to let that man get to you. He has very little on you.
January 14th, 2006
795th
(0)
January 14th, 2006
796th
(0)
Considering I had to refresh my page, I forgot to readd the quote "their best Saturday night date takes AA batteries" which is even more juvenile than his other comment. This guy needs to act his age to be taken even partially serious. It's interesting how it's alright for him to steal, mock copyright letters, mock the authors, and such, but once he mocked, such as in ebaumsworldsucks.com, he throws a fit. He is a definite hypocrite.
January 14th, 2006
797th
(0)
Your letter is the kind of letter you'd expect from an exec, not the "cease and desist" letter that sounds like a teenage kid who stays in his room and flames on forums. You can seriously see points in the letter where he would laugh/snort/adjust his glasses. You seriously need to consider a career in journalism.
January 15th, 2006
798th
(0)
Until Max can provide equal firepower in terms of legality and attorneys, just the mere sound of the word "lawyers" forces Max in a tough spot. What Neil is doing is no different than any other major corporation; corporate doublespeak and legal threats to protect their shady practices.
January 15th, 2006
799th
(0)
How very unprofessional of him. Well done.
January 15th, 2006
800th
(0)
Kudos Max.
January 16th, 2006
802nd
(0)
lolz im a terrorist
January 18th, 2006
803rd
(0)
As Mr. Bauman himself said, "LOL."
January 21st, 2006
804th
(0)
Pwn't.
January 22nd, 2006
805th
(0)
ungodly!
January 22nd, 2006
806th
(0)
rofl i cant believe that f*g is making money off of peoples work nice one eric you redneck chicken motherf*cker!
January 22nd, 2006
807th
(0)
Hahahahahahahahahahaha surely they know eBaums world can be taken down for plaguerism and now slander because of the accusations in the first email. Also a grown man saying "lol" = very sad indeed.
January 25th, 2006
808th
(0)
love the reply :) YTMN Max!
January 25th, 2006
809th
(0)
You totaly handed him his ass. Go Max!
January 31st, 2006
810th
(0)
The amount of maturity seen here is a good sign for YTMND! good job =D
February 12th, 2006
811th
(0)
Great response max :D.
February 15th, 2006
812th
(0)
Max, that was incredibly well put. You are definately the better man....err...You're the man now dog!111
March 1st, 2006
813th
(0)
If news articles were given a rating system, I would give this a 200. After how poorly treated you have been from the obviously incompetent Neil Bauman and his son, in a factor that any veteran Internet user would realise is totally out of your control, I think it's clear that you at least won some moral ground to the people who oppose eBaum's "submit-and-deny" strategy. It's obvious that out of anyone here, You truly are The Man Now Dog.
March 12th, 2006
814th
(0)
You've got to pity Bauman, though. You know, like how you pity a limbless vegetable-brained retard.
March 15th, 2006
815th
(0)
EBAUMS WORLD SUCKS
March 21st, 2006
816th
(0)
"we are very tolerant and sensitive to the underprivileged and the mentally challenged." What in the holy hell... half you seen the pictures page for that site :|
April 25th, 2006
817th
(0)
max IS the man now dog!
May 14th, 2006
819th
(0)
Owned beyond perceivable ownage.
May 27th, 2006
820th
(0)
stolen!!! lololol!!!
June 16th, 2006
821st
(0)
and we are very tolerant and sensitive to the underprivileged and the mentally challenged. biggest lie ever.
June 21st, 2006
822nd
(0)
MAX IS THE MAN NOW DOG!!
July 5th, 2006
823rd
(0)
ERIC BAUMAN SI A f*gORT!! LMAO! HURRR!
July 13th, 2006
824th
(0)
Owndizzled.
July 23rd, 2006
825th
(0)
Lol commenting in July.
July 31st, 2006
826th
(0)
Ebaumsworld sucks!!!
July 31st, 2006
827th
(0)
lol @ Ebaum's 2 year old insults. The Baumans know they're hated because they steal. They just can't accept it.
August 4th, 2006
828th
(0)
lol, 1314th comment. Still a cool topic
August 15th, 2006
829th
(0)
This reminded me to slap my friend who goes to eBaumsworld. Thanks.
August 17th, 2006
830th
(0)
Good job.
August 19th, 2006
831st
(0)
SO-DOM-ISED, right there.
August 20th, 2006
832nd
(0)
EPICNESS
August 22nd, 2006
833rd
(0)
860th
August 23rd, 2006
834th
(0)
hooray for ytmnd! victory is ours!
August 25th, 2006
835th
(0)
lol, ownage
August 28th, 2006
836th
(0)
First time I actually stopped to read this. You win, Max. Also, maybe you could make a ytmnd of you reading your response, a-la the Shakespearian reading of Mr. Bauman's?
August 29th, 2006
837th
(0)
you rock max. you and maddox are on equal terms in my book.
September 1st, 2006
838th
(0)
EPIC PWNAGE.
September 20th, 2006
839th
(0)
865th. Very nice Max =) You pwnt them good.
October 20th, 2006
840th
(0)
867th
November 20th, 2006
841st
(0)
The "lovingly" at the end sweetens the whole thing.
January 3rd, 2007
842nd
(0)
I came. Btw 869th.
January 9th, 2007
843rd
(0)
Maladjusted Eric Bauman!
May 7th, 2007
847th
(0)
YOU GO MAX!! YOUR THE BOMB!
June 8th, 2007
848th
(0)
GO MAX
June 28th, 2007
849th
(0)
also 647th
March 20th, 2008
850th
(0)
Lulz
October 17th, 2008
851st
(0)
hi
December 28th, 2008
853rd
(0)
last
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