you just keep me hanging on
Created on: September 6th, 2009
"If you want sarcasm to come across via the internet you need to actually let the reader know you're being sarcastic. With words."
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Do you remember ytmnd, Mr. Max? It'll be spring soon. And the Khans will be in blossom. And the Stephanies will be nesting in the hazel thicket. And they'll be sowing the summer barley in the lower fields... and eating the first of the strawberries with cream. Do you remember the taste of strawberries?
To be brutally honest, this is EXACTLY how I would act. I mean if Max posted a news update now that only said "good stuff will happen", I would totally believe him and be happy. But I know in my heart, 2.5 years later we will finally get the "Oh sh*t!" button, and i would be like wtf. I haven't had quicktime installed for 2.5 years since I hate quicktime and max said he also hates quicktime and will be abandoning it in the "near" future, but the update is really just the "oh sh*t" button?
(continued) Well fan-f*cking-tastic! I spent over two years on ytmnd not being able to hear the audio for over half of the sites posted, and we get the "oh sh*t!" button? Great! F*cking great! I mean, quickly ejecting from NSFW sites is what i REALLY wanted, right? It's not like NSFW sites can't already be spotted by looking from site comments, right? i REALLY need a button other than the BACK button to help me with that. i'm REALLY not upset that we still need f*cking quicktime to listen to half the
(continued) sites on YTMND, right? Great. I know that eliminating quicktime and stuff would take a MAJOR effort, so I'm glad this effort was spent on an "oh sh*t!" button! Even though most of the sites I would use "oh sh*t!" button on, I can't currently hear due to them using quicktime, that's ok. Max will have TOTALLY be free of quicktime by 2015, right? OH nevermind, the 2015 update will be a working "List" feature. I mean it only took 14 years to impliment it, right? Better late than never.
(continued, also f*ck you kaizen for combo-breaking my combo) Hopefully before I die I will be able to listen to YTMND's without a preloader, cause max SAID, f*cking like 2 years ago that he was gonna abandon quicktime or something, right? But sure I'll wait. Cause even if in 2015 Max posted an update that said "Coming next, KITTENS!!!11!", I would be like "OMG, Max is introducing a kitten feature! ...or something!" Cause max is founder of YTMND and he can't POSSIBLY hint and egg and promise about new
(continued), vital, important features of YTMND when he hasn't owned up on any of his other promises in the past, right? And if in 2015 Max hosted a contest that said the winners of the contest would get an animated .gif image on a $1 bill, I would TOTALLY believe him! Cause he REALLY came through with the simple process of sending vector images to T-shirt making companies, right? Oh wait, he didn't, but still, I still have faith in you Max. F*CK i am drunk as sh*t.
(continued) Also I just downvoted all of my comments that I just posted. I really wish there was a feature that would allow us to delete comments that we didn't mean to post/were drinking to much to understand the point of our original post. But that feature will come in 2025, right Max? Sure it will. Fuuuuuuuuck
I'm not drunk but I'm really stoned and I just stayed up all night so I'm cooked to the limit, and I say, don't feel bad for what you spilled out here because a lot of it is true. Yeah sure, it's just an internet joke website, who cares if it all goes to sh*t and there aint no sh*t pump to suck the overflow? We're just anons who re-post tired memes, who cares? The truth is, max probably never imagined that he'd have to run a website like this and have a bunch of "internet artistes" badger him constantly to
make changes and updates, it's like having unprotected sex with a fat chick and then finding out there's an ugly kid who needs braces a few years down the line and your DNA is coursing through the little bastards veins. Of course you're gonna lie your *ss off, claim bankruptcy, tell the accidental mother, who wouldn't have a chance of getting pregnant without a couple gallons of PBR dunked into the hapless chump that hung around at the bar till it was closing time. He did what any snot nosed kid would do
ran it as best he could. I use the Firefox browser... now this is the big reveal here, every single site that I open works. I can hear sound and see a looping gif and then I have the option to vote on it, I can even leave a cute comment if i feel like it. You think your grandpa had those options when he was knee deep in blood storming some beach in Normandy? This website isn't run by some fancy shmancy corporation that has the time and resources to make all these fancy shmancy updates. It's run by a young
Jewish boy who's just like you and I, he has kitchen accidents and gets a cold once in a while, he masturbates to Brazilian fart fetish porn and makes the disabled kid feel special by twisting baloon animals into horse dicks at Bar Mitzvah 's. So lets just pour something and drink something, roll something up and smoke something, make some funny sites and break something.
Beautiful analogy. You're right about Max probably never imagining that this site would be where it is today, and people actually be badgering him to DO stuff. Also, i can't remember what exactly pissed me off so bad last night to post that miniature novel. I must have clicked on several sites that didn't use the preloader and was ticked that I couldn't hear them. I know eliminating the use of quicktime on YTMND is probably a big pain in the *ss to do/code, but couldn't Max just force EVERY site to use
the preloader as a temporary fix? I know it's not exactly what he's going for (cause he wasnts a "start!" button or something), but it would still be a vast improvement. And even if that is too hard, just make it so all future sites can only use the preloader. That way all the old sites would stay the same but everything new posted wouldn't use quictime at all. Or something.
Though, where do we draw the line when it comes to changes and improvements? The gif is inefficient too. Why don't we just make ytmnd into a media site that plays looping videos, and get it over with? (This is not a real suggestion but I don't know where we go from here without becoming just another somethingawful or newgrounds).
Back when PatienceKing was around I saw a few looped .MOVs he had done which kicked ass, I think it would be sweet if that were an option around here, except that with every step we make away from the 'picture sound text' formula, we further expose ourselves to the influence of YouTube syndrome. I'm not going to pretend like I don't live and breathe F*ggyShortFilms, but I think we can absolutely do better than the .gif without sacrificing our original principles; A length limit would be absolutely necessary
(cont) as no YTMND should really ever be longer than a minute (though I have a soft spot for the original Unfunny Truth). IMO, .flv would be perfect for this. I'd say we move to animated PNG, currently supported by Firefox and 100% more epic than the GIF, but unfortunately there are too many tards suckling away at the Internet Explorer teat for that medium to ever become any kind of standard. I appreciate the ways that the userbase has been able to get creative with the limitations of the GIF but it's been
Wow they have animated PNGs now? What programs make those and how many frames do you get relative to gifs? Also, I guess that wouldn't be a terrible idea but I don't like having a length limit, if you are able to squeeze every last ounce of space and still make an epic f*ggy short film that deserves commendation and respect. I can't help but feel that no matter what we do, we lose. Imagine if Max never increased the limit to 3mb? It could be argued that we have moved away from our core principles long ago.
Well if we were to use a different format, a length limit would fill the role that the size limit used to play; GIF compression is way less efficient than that of the codecs used by the .mov or .flv containers, so with a new file format it wouldn't be at all difficult to fit 2-3 minutes of video-blog horsesh*t into a 3MB file. Thus ruining YTMND forever.
Also just ignore umfuld. He recently artificially increased the views of one of his Nothingman sites by putting it into the Lazytown contest even though it didn't meet the criteria. The site was made months ago but it is now getting a steady 800 views a day because of it. Normally I wouldn't care, but this is just another case of umfuld doing what he preaches against. A couple of users also did that for the first contest, but that was a one day gag only. Max doesn't seem to remove contest abusers anymore.
Community pressure hasn't done much to slow the onslaught of things like Moon Man, though. 95% of the community observing certain principles and unwritten rules is pretty solid cultural cohesion for the internet, but it doesn't help when the other 5% are literally dedicated to spewing sh*t all over the place.
Also, the most recent news post seems to indicate that this may already be work in progress, given the part where he mentions processing GIF files into SWF. Flash would likely apply a more efficient compression on the original GIF animation, resulting in a smaller end-result file; theoretically Max could raise the file size upload limit to something like 10MB assuming he was willing to commit the bandwidth, and after conversion it could still be under 3MB to download while being 3x as long.
The problem is that there isn't enough community pressure to stop moonman sites. There is enough to keep them off the frontpage for extended periods of time though. Everyone should do their part and 1 them as soon as they see it, but there is an increasing number of users who do nothing, or even support it. YTMND is sadly divided on that issue. We are pretty united against vblogs though. And yeah flash compression seems like the best step at this point, if only Max could work that out.
One of the common concerns with changing the file format was that we wouldn't see as much participation if it became somehow more complicated of a process to produce a YTMND.. It's too bad, cause we really could all be using .MOVs or .FLVs or .AVIs just as easily as we make gifs, it's literally as simple as File > Export > Render Video.
The benefit of making it a more complicated process is shutting out terrible, no-effort sites like moon man, and while there would be less material, the high quality stuff would be of higher quality. I think at this point, with the user base as low as it is, no one would contest a more complicated system because the people who actually contribute good content on a regular basis know their programs. I think concerns of alienation came up when it was had a lot of casual users. Users now are pretty dedicated.
Well what if we had a separate section on YTMND specifically for .flv/.mov/.avi/.whatever-file-format-other-than-gif YTMND's? No .gifs allowed, 5-10mb file size limit. The cost of hosting larger files/using more bandwith could easily be offset by putting adds in the flash preloader. Sure splitting the community into two separate sections seems like a stupid thing to do, but pretty much every improvement for YTMND is going to have some drawbacks of some sort (most of which you guys already mentioned).
(continued) At least splitting the site in two would keep moonman fanatics happy in the .gif section while people with more advanced programs/editing skills will love the new .mov/swf/avi/etc section. Of course then there is nothing stopping the new section from becoming YouTMNDube or a Newgrounds 2 or something. Augh this hurts to think about. Maybe a community run moderating system could temporarily "ban" users from the new section if they start posting youtube-like videos or 20-second moonman .swfs
If a user gets enough bad marks within a week, they get kicked off the new section for two weeks and if they want to post a new site, they have to post it in the old gif section. This would probably be highly abused, but damnit, I can't think of any other way to keep ytmnd from changing into youtube if this site allowed you to post .swf/movie files. Also don't think that just because .swf/png/avi/etc files are harder to make, there will be less crappy sites if YTMND abandoned gif and went with these file
(continued) types. All it would take is one person posting an AVI of still image of Lando with the music going on in the background and everybody would have all the material needed to make a standard lando site. Sure moonman would probably diminish since you would have to re-render the entire thing to switch the audio, but it would now be incredibly easy for prairiedogeric10 to make a webcam video of him reading ytmnd comments and stick it up on the site in 2 minutes flat.
(continued) Crap, I'm just talking myself around in circles here. I have no idea what would make this site better than it is (other than forcing the use of the preloader for every site). Max, ignore my drunken rant from before and keep doing what you're doing. Although I do want that "Oh Sh*t!' button. And those T-shirts. And for this site to not be merged with 4chan. And cake.
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