The Un-Funny Truth About Defrag (Scientology)
Created on: August 18th, 2006
The Un-Funny Truth About Defrag (Scientology)
regularstormy 
unfunnydefrag.ytmnd.com
Sorry for resubmit - had to tighten graphics. http://www.craigjensen.com/, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defrag, WinXP
gimp
The Rise of Satan - kingj4life3 (NG Audio Portal)

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NoAstrology
August 18th, 2006
5:16:01 PM CDT
(0)
rofl wtf
HonkeyyTron
August 18th, 2006
5:18:32 PM CDT
(0)
i really dont care
Mr-Shroom
August 18th, 2006
5:19:18 PM CDT
(0)
Neat discovery...but who the hell really uses that clunky-ass defrag program? Use Nortons instead. :p
dyskrasia
August 18th, 2006
5:20:02 PM CDT
(0)
WinME, problem solved...
STaRScREAMMM
August 18th, 2006
5:26:31 PM CDT
(0)
wrong!! i sue O&O
STaRScREAMMM
August 18th, 2006
5:27:04 PM CDT
(0)
use
Frostynecropyre
August 18th, 2006
5:28:05 PM CDT
(0)
Jet defrag here, but frankly scientology is just scary.
ultimacanti
August 18th, 2006
5:38:58 PM CDT
(0)
I use the Altimit OS Ver 4.5. So this does not affect me. I don't really understand why its funny that a scientologist is associated with software. I mean if you found an African shaman or something connected to software then I might laugh. But this is just coincidental babble.
gamekid
August 18th, 2006
5:40:03 PM CDT
(0)
Then you're probably a smug bastard anyway.
tibber
August 18th, 2006
5:43:49 PM CDT
(0)
yes, it's coincidental. that's why it's funny. anyway, 5'd for the slowly spelled "OMG".
Votey
August 18th, 2006
5:43:59 PM CDT
(0)
Well, that's it. We're f*cked. Also, lol @ Norton as an example of non-clunky software.
ZenSaohu
August 18th, 2006
5:44:50 PM CDT
(0)
Ahh! getitoff getitoff getitoff getitoff getitoff getitoff getitoff getitoff getitoff getitoff getitoff getitoff getitoff getitoff getitoff getitoff getitoff getitoff getitoff getitoff getitoff getitoff getitoff
solfat
August 18th, 2006
5:45:13 PM CDT
(0)
who the f*ck cares
ianmorris
August 18th, 2006
5:47:24 PM CDT
(0)
ZOMG
ollj
August 18th, 2006
5:51:59 PM CDT
(0)
everytime you P2P, you support communism!
mantenna
August 18th, 2006
5:53:39 PM CDT
(0)
holy sh*t! well, good thing I've got a mac, mwahahahaha! Join the dark side! Bill Gates has betrayed you!
monkeytrousers
August 18th, 2006
6:03:16 PM CDT
(0)
urrrrghhh. holy f*ck. I'm never using that piece of sh*t again. Raxco Perfectdisk for me!
eapers
August 18th, 2006
6:06:33 PM CDT
(0)
that wasn't unfunny at all
UncleHenry
August 18th, 2006
6:12:10 PM CDT
(0)
5 for having a mac, and don't have to defrag
Teh0
August 18th, 2006
6:12:30 PM CDT
(0)
+5 for calling him a douche real quick, -3 for not caring at all
GrandMasterJigga
August 18th, 2006
6:18:34 PM CDT
(0)
ahhh i use NORTON FTW!!! also lol@douche
MajinTobias
August 18th, 2006
6:25:33 PM CDT
(0)
5 for douche
Beastmonkey
August 18th, 2006
6:37:02 PM CDT
(0)
Our computers are doomed
yiddish
August 18th, 2006
6:38:13 PM CDT
(0)
Then you're probably a smug bastard anyway. Yes I am.
agentanderson
August 18th, 2006
6:39:50 PM CDT
(0)
http://www.sysinternals.com/Utilities/PageDefrag.html
integ
August 18th, 2006
6:42:50 PM CDT
(0)
Thank God I'm a smug Mac-using bastard. *whew*
JimCramer
August 18th, 2006
6:44:18 PM CDT
(0)
[smug]On my laptop I'd never use janky *ss M$ crap. But I never defrag since I use a Mac for browsing. [/smug]
PCF
August 18th, 2006
6:45:10 PM CDT
(0)
no wonder its sh*t
HeatherChandler
August 18th, 2006
6:46:03 PM CDT
(0)
Mind. Blown.
DurotanZealot
August 18th, 2006
6:46:17 PM CDT
(0)
haha nice "douche" snuck in there. and 5 stars alone for calling mac users smug bastards.
kingrex
August 18th, 2006
6:51:17 PM CDT
(0)
lol
rafuzo
August 18th, 2006
6:52:02 PM CDT
(0)
+4 for the semi-subliminal 'douche' comment
Miltons-Stapler
August 18th, 2006
6:52:14 PM CDT
(0)
lol 5d for douche
GOBLINLORD
August 18th, 2006
6:54:24 PM CDT
(0)
good investigative werk...PS i use windows 98 lol
ChaosWakej2
August 18th, 2006
7:02:57 PM CDT
(0)
F*ck! Nice research. Although this...really doesnt pose as any kind of threat. Although we now know Scientology is indirectly linked to Microsoft.
MicroKusa
August 18th, 2006
7:03:39 PM CDT
(0)
My computer is dead to me, now. ;(
YMTND
August 18th, 2006
7:06:40 PM CDT
(0)
5 for the Mac/Linux comment at the end.
thechosen0ne
August 18th, 2006
7:07:55 PM CDT
(0)
5 simply for the burn on mac and linux users
Cheeselicker
August 18th, 2006
7:14:12 PM CDT
(0)
I use O&O defrag. Much better than Window's excuse for a defragmentation program.
rruelas
August 18th, 2006
7:19:10 PM CDT
(0)
Wow, and yet, I don't really care... I use Diskeeper 10 to defrag, and everything's good!
Nightshiver00
August 18th, 2006
7:21:40 PM CDT
(0)
Mac FTW.
draco-nite
August 18th, 2006
7:24:18 PM CDT
(0)
I WILL NEVER DEFRAG AGAIN
Mohrdikai
August 18th, 2006
7:25:16 PM CDT
(0)
That explains why Windows defrag is so useless. Never used the piece of crap.
innocentbystander
August 18th, 2006
7:29:40 PM CDT
(0)
5'd for that last part.
x514N6W311
August 18th, 2006
7:34:18 PM CDT
(0)
So a minister of Scientology could have complete access of your entire computer. All it'd take is a couple more lines of code among thousands. Nice to know.
theo47
August 18th, 2006
7:34:31 PM CDT
(0)
OMG thank you, I will never defrag again
Kanakana
August 18th, 2006
7:37:30 PM CDT
(0)
I've never defragged to this day, and i still don't... x..x dunno why, but i don't really need it, y'know?
ALMusic
August 18th, 2006
7:39:32 PM CDT
(0)
*stormy does his homework*
StupidBoringAsshole
August 18th, 2006
7:42:15 PM CDT
(0)
Okay. So?
Coldmetal
August 18th, 2006
7:50:03 PM CDT
(0)
wtf?
Nuroticat
August 18th, 2006
7:57:31 PM CDT
(0)
OMG Secret Scientology defrag! Geektastic, LOL worthy discovery. I wonder if the defragger is the same in Vista?
rapa-nui
August 18th, 2006
8:00:59 PM CDT
(0)
+5 for the smug bastard comment, and OMG... all these years.... I feel violated.
BYOBKenobi
August 18th, 2006
8:05:12 PM CDT
(0)
gimp is not a source. But when I saw "but then you're probably a smug bastard" I 5'd for great justice.
m0untaindew
August 18th, 2006
8:06:43 PM CDT
(0)
contig.exe from sysinternals for the win
p337
August 18th, 2006
8:09:58 PM CDT
(0)
This just in, some pretty good movies starred Scientologists. I would have oned.. but that comment about linux and mac users made me chortle.
kt11126
August 18th, 2006
8:17:44 PM CDT
(0)
Or you use Norton... douche
smoothmedia
August 18th, 2006
8:18:13 PM CDT
(0)
lol good find
Bondo
August 18th, 2006
8:26:20 PM CDT
(0)
I'll never defrag again ! see ya in hell hard drive
deathc4
August 18th, 2006
8:27:42 PM CDT
(0)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
pauljue14
August 18th, 2006
8:31:28 PM CDT
(0)
I'm not a smug bastard
Strakitarx
August 18th, 2006
8:34:31 PM CDT
(0)
What's the problem then?
WeMayDie
August 18th, 2006
8:35:05 PM CDT
(0)
I WILL NEVER DEFRAG AGAIN
State-of-mind
August 18th, 2006
8:44:57 PM CDT
(0)
meh, needs more teksoqp and random sh*t.
evilhomestereo
August 18th, 2006
8:44:58 PM CDT
(0)
Beck's a scientologist. Whoopty f*cking doo.
excusemesenator
August 18th, 2006
8:47:24 PM CDT
(0)
They should play this up in the "I'm a Mac! I'm a PC!" ads. Macs rule. I am a smug bastard. Oh well.
n0tj0sh33
August 18th, 2006
8:47:38 PM CDT
(0)
I liked the coment at the end about mac and linux users =)
GanjaJoker
August 18th, 2006
8:59:41 PM CDT
(0)
We're f*cked. Well not me, just you guys. I use Linux. Muhahahahhahaha.
regularstormy
August 18th, 2006
9:09:10 PM CDT
(0)
@State-of-mind: I agree, just made this on a whim, didn't expect it to get noticed, lol
CAPSLOCKON
August 18th, 2006
9:09:20 PM CDT
(0)
Holy sh*t 5'd
dmisrafel
August 18th, 2006
9:27:20 PM CDT
(0)
'douche' + 'smug bastard' comment = five.
galaxhood
August 18th, 2006
9:38:32 PM CDT
(0)
5 for nedm
Xerohour
August 18th, 2006
9:47:03 PM CDT
(0)
use different music. and i really couldnt care less if the man who was responsible for my defrag was a retard.
timeconsumer
August 18th, 2006
9:49:39 PM CDT
(0)
"I would have oned.. but that comment about linux and mac users made me chortle." ... it scares me how close this is to what I would have said (though I would not have used the word "chortle")
gamekid
August 18th, 2006
9:55:52 PM CDT
(0)
"needs more teksoqp and random sh*t." Word. teksoqp is the sh*t.
ElMarco
August 18th, 2006
9:59:47 PM CDT
(0)
um, what's your point
danmanx
August 18th, 2006
10:06:24 PM CDT
(0)
You totally 5'd it at, "..mac or linux. then you're probably a smug bastard anyway"
mayunholdup
August 18th, 2006
10:06:40 PM CDT
(0)
lol, douche for the win.
TechniQuirks
August 18th, 2006
10:06:57 PM CDT
(0)
5'd for creepy. -1, though, for calling me a smug bastard (which I am... PowerBook and proud)
mayunholdup
August 18th, 2006
10:08:29 PM CDT
(0)
But seriously....this is almost scary. The Scientologists may have the ability to look at all of the files, cookies, etc in our computer. LETS BOYCOTT...UMM....STOP TEH DEFRAG?
yue
August 18th, 2006
10:09:19 PM CDT
(0)
I had to watch it a second time to see the 'douche'. Funny.
cvramen
August 18th, 2006
10:15:57 PM CDT
(0)
5'd for sayin' stuff about non-Windows users.
Squigle1337
August 18th, 2006
10:18:22 PM CDT
(0)
5 plus another 5 for the shameless burn on mac users.
AnonZombie
August 18th, 2006
10:21:13 PM CDT
(0)
Was truly un-funny, until the final comment. 5'd.
Zero-Cool
August 18th, 2006
10:23:10 PM CDT
(0)
was about to 5 this, but i use a mac, and you're a douchebag
Duterasemis
August 18th, 2006
10:29:14 PM CDT
(0)
my hard drive is powered by the souls of brainwashed aliens and i for one find that to be TOTALLY AWESOME
Duterasemis
August 18th, 2006
10:30:13 PM CDT
(0)
also: anyone who names themselves after a character from "Hackers" and uses a Mac is by definition a douchebag, having fulfilled several of the prerequisites for douchebaggery
Schlomo
August 18th, 2006
10:36:07 PM CDT
(0)
I am a smug bastard...AKA smart enough not to use Windows
bersl2
August 18th, 2006
10:53:02 PM CDT
(0)
Hey Windows users, why not use a *real* filesystem, that doesn't need to defrag? Oh, wait, that's right, you don't have one. Ha ha!
Bupo
August 18th, 2006
11:13:00 PM CDT
(0)
the balogna is in the nest, the pastrami is recyclable.
Kohrak
August 18th, 2006
11:16:46 PM CDT
(0)
holy sh*t mind = blown
Vergeh
August 18th, 2006
11:30:46 PM CDT
(0)
5ed for the very last line. I did a spit take.
Refractor
August 18th, 2006
11:32:19 PM CDT
(0)
damnit
Raziell
August 18th, 2006
11:36:33 PM CDT
(0)
I honestly don't care.
Mson
August 18th, 2006
11:38:50 PM CDT
(0)
O__O
eminemfan0502
August 18th, 2006
11:45:44 PM CDT
(0)
5'd just for the part at the end about mac and linux.(no hate on penguin)
Neophiliack
August 18th, 2006
11:50:05 PM CDT
(0)
hmm this does not deserve U&C
coreycubed
August 18th, 2006
11:52:02 PM CDT
(0)
5ft fived for truth
Arma-get-it-on
August 19th, 2006
12:02:38 AM CDT
(0)
i dont care
OvA
August 19th, 2006
12:03:38 AM CDT
(0)
I've been fighting back for years by not defragging.
Foolmoron
August 19th, 2006
12:07:52 AM CDT
(0)
I never defrag anyway....but now I'll be extra careful
waluigi14
August 19th, 2006
12:10:47 AM CDT
(0)
"Than you're probably a smug bastard anyway." Yes, I am. MACFTWWTFWINDOWSSUCKSLOLOMGBBQ!
beatnik
August 19th, 2006
12:17:59 AM CDT
(0)
I just don't give a f*ck.
jdmn13
August 19th, 2006
12:20:39 AM CDT
(0)
I am a smug mac using bastard, and I approve of this message
Aioxa
August 19th, 2006
12:23:36 AM CDT
(0)
ohhh nooo!
Baron
August 19th, 2006
12:24:18 AM CDT
(0)
-1 for resubbing, i hate voting on stuff twice.
Drac39
August 19th, 2006
12:26:55 AM CDT
(0)
I'm sick of this Scientology crap. yes we know we hate the scientologists let's stop preaching about it.
Teknoflow
August 19th, 2006
12:35:06 AM CDT
(0)
So? It works well enough. I'm all for hating scientologists for being stupid, but I'm not going to hate a product for being made by a scientologist. Especially when it works pretty darn well.
pantspantspants
August 19th, 2006
12:55:49 AM CDT
(0)
OMGWTFBBQ
Kazuma
August 19th, 2006
1:02:45 AM CDT
(0)
you see i overheard some nerds at best buy talking about defragging your computer. Apparently its a program that uses little rectangles to make your computer more relaxed. I did it and my win 98 is runnning good as new. thanks nerds at best buy! (btw my friends are the staff at best buy.)
surfinbrant
August 19th, 2006
1:23:52 AM CDT
(0)
Oh shi...
Andar
August 19th, 2006
1:40:24 AM CDT
(0)
i'll care if you can prove to me that the diskeeper programmers are crazy. that guy has nothing to do with my boot partition's performance
lordfirefox
August 19th, 2006
1:42:35 AM CDT
(0)
Good thing I use Raxco's PerfectDisk 7
DJMaxican
August 19th, 2006
1:45:26 AM CDT
(0)
5'd simply because it's funny to me that 100% of the Mac and Linux users that have commented on this have either admitted or said something that shows them to be smug bastards.
r3ddr4g0n
August 19th, 2006
1:53:29 AM CDT
(0)
I thought it was odd that one day all the fragments lined up and then spelled out "Donate to Xenu". Either that or the fact that I was completely trippin balls.
SABlingBling
August 19th, 2006
2:07:04 AM CDT
(0)
DeFrag is NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD
co9
August 19th, 2006
2:09:13 AM CDT
(0)
i would've 5'd it just for having "gimp" in the image origin, but the DOUCHE part made me lol.
Popsman
August 19th, 2006
2:26:52 AM CDT
(0)
OMG I DON'T CARE.
YuriTheGreat
August 19th, 2006
2:36:02 AM CDT
(0)
OMFG
jabberwocky39
August 19th, 2006
2:59:12 AM CDT
(0)
don't care
Thrage
August 19th, 2006
4:42:11 AM CDT
(0)
Scientology is bad. Scientologists are not.
fascistkokomo
August 19th, 2006
5:14:24 AM CDT
(0)
lol, I LOVE THE SMELL OF MY OWN FARTS!!!!!1
marty4286
August 19th, 2006
5:49:58 AM CDT
(0)
I chuckle'd
Netsnipe
August 19th, 2006
6:50:45 AM CDT
(0)
lol, ext3
Netsnipe
August 19th, 2006
6:52:56 AM CDT
(0)
Anyway, it's old news. The German Goverment had Microsoft strip out Defrag from all its deployments starting back in 2000. http://www.theregister.co.uk/2000/11/03/ms_helps_you_hack_scientology/
ytcracker
August 19th, 2006
7:36:58 AM CDT
(0)
good detective
Rexter
August 19th, 2006
7:57:16 AM CDT
(0)
well that was unexptected O_o
Mujahideenie
August 19th, 2006
8:21:16 AM CDT
(0)
oh god
Beazlebabe
August 19th, 2006
8:37:00 AM CDT
(0)
Gratuitous insults F.T.W.!
RobM
August 19th, 2006
8:39:19 AM CDT
(0)
+5 for making fun of scienctology. -3 for making fun of Mac / Linux users.
add99man2
August 19th, 2006
8:43:12 AM CDT
(0)
I will never defrag again....wait
stratos-the-bratos
August 19th, 2006
8:44:31 AM CDT
(0)
lame
wowbagger2004
August 19th, 2006
8:46:09 AM CDT
(0)
nooooo i'm never defragging again!
Platipus
August 19th, 2006
9:09:13 AM CDT
(0)
o cool scientology fad
Umaycallusq
August 19th, 2006
9:14:10 AM CDT
(0)
you are mistaken buddy. microsoft stole the defrag software from norton. an early release of dos acually left the norton name in the eula. but they later removed it. and he never got paid for it.
wasabi54
August 19th, 2006
9:31:08 AM CDT
(0)
AHH! THEY'RE TAKING OVER THE COMPUTERS! AHH!!!!
Spredhaus
August 19th, 2006
10:14:48 AM CDT
(0)
Well, I guess I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't.
Mikee99
August 19th, 2006
10:17:26 AM CDT
(0)
I can't believe Mac users said they don't have to defrag... ALL HARD DRIVES FRAGMENT DATA!!!!!!! OS X Defragmentation does not defrag everything, as it would take too much resources. Just use another disk defragmenter.
Bigun
August 19th, 2006
10:17:47 AM CDT
(0)
Hooray for Linux - 64lappy / # uname -a Linux 64lappy 2.6.18-rc4 #1 SMP Wed Aug 16 12:38:24 EDT 2006 x86_64 AMD Athlon(tm) 64 Processor 3200+ AuthenticAMD GNU/Linux
Tulio
August 19th, 2006
10:26:19 AM CDT
(0)
or you could, you know, pirate it
Kranis
August 19th, 2006
10:48:54 AM CDT
(0)
5'd for Douche
gfw
August 19th, 2006
10:53:42 AM CDT
(0)
I guess I'm a smug bastard...still funny though.
CoJaFo
August 19th, 2006
11:19:24 AM CDT
(0)
I didn't care too much until "Then you're probably a smug bastard anyway." But good research.
AppleKid
August 19th, 2006
11:45:41 AM CDT
(0)
thanks for ruining my computer for me. I'll have to put it down now =(
crypulse
August 19th, 2006
11:49:13 AM CDT
(0)
OH DEAR GAWD :((
DoomRater
August 19th, 2006
12:06:07 PM CDT
(0)
That's really f*cking scary. I knew the Win9x program was better but I never knew why. Wow, Microsoft actually DOES do some sh*t better than 3rd party groups.
gir489
August 19th, 2006
12:20:51 PM CDT
(0)
I use Diskeeper 10. Written by the white Christians of America!!!111one. :D http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diskeeper
dasuberwoo
August 19th, 2006
2:48:22 PM CDT
(0)
Linux. But I just got this in my RSS before I saw this site: http://geekblog.oneandoneis2.org/index.php/2006/08/17/why_doesn_t_linux_need_defragmenting
InMSWeAntitrust
August 19th, 2006
2:51:44 PM CDT
(0)
I use software developed by freeze dried helper monkeys.
DGMavn
August 19th, 2006
5:04:45 PM CDT
(0)
"smug bastard anways" QFT
Brandon00151
August 19th, 2006
6:12:46 PM CDT
(0)
lol douche
Mikefox124
August 19th, 2006
7:20:01 PM CDT
(0)
;_;
timmyt
August 19th, 2006
7:43:27 PM CDT
(0)
How'd you know I'm a smug Mac user? Wait. don't answer that.
GanjaJoker
August 21st, 2006
12:35:29 PM CDT
(0)
Fight the war on Scientology, use Diskeeper.
MuffinMan1337
August 23rd, 2006
10:00:02 PM CDT
(0)
AHHH !
tekkenman3580
August 25th, 2006
11:05:41 AM CDT
(0)
lmao. "douche". thats awsome.
cloudstrife7
August 25th, 2006
12:06:31 PM CDT
(0)
I'm a smug MAC bastard? You bet I am!!!
GyRo567
September 16th, 2006
5:12:06 PM CDT
(0)
I use a crack of PerfectDisk.
Defender16
September 19th, 2006
8:46:17 PM CDT
(0)
NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
traveltheory
September 22nd, 2006
2:18:09 PM CDT
(0)
smug bastard made it for me, i dont really care about defraging, but lets stick it to the f*ckers with imacs
Rogue9
October 17th, 2006
12:23:16 PM CDT
(0)
Well, no wonder the default defragging software sucks.
Jaguarstrike
December 19th, 2006
12:23:59 AM CST
(0)
Im damned glad i warezed my version, an its NOT the winXP default.
ClingingMars
January 15th, 2007
7:24:32 PM CST
(0)
thank god i have a mac
gamekid
March 12th, 2007
11:18:42 PM CDT
(0)
Fav'd, once and for all.